You know, there are still people out there that try their hardest to please people. If I wasn't one of them myself I may not think there were any. Let me just start by saying that at the beginning of 09' I recieved a call from my mother, who was devistated and crying. Her husband decided he no longer wanted to be married. Not only did he just take off but my mother had not worked for several years and has horrible arthritis problems. He decides to take off, and leave everything for her to deal with. Well how was she suppose to support herself. I had to help, there was no other way, and I knew that immediatly.
However, after making several payments for her on things, I started getting behind on my own bills. Let me just tell you, its hard to recover from being behind so far, when you are a single mother of two children and recieve no help from the father. I am just going to say that I made a very poor choice, that resulted in me getting fired from my job in the end. The choice that I made, I was trying to take care of my children. The state tells me they will no longer help out with daycare of medicaid for either of my girls and I FREAKED!!!!! So, in as little as two weeks, I went from having to pay out $250 a month for day care and medical for the girls, to having to pay out over $1600.00 for day care and medical combined......and that was only sending 1 of them to daycare!!!!!!!! It was totally devastating. I just sunk deeper and deeper in the hole.
I then start dating a man, at which one point I found myself to despise, because he took my brothers friendship (another good hearted and loving person in the world) for granted. I read a book, and now this portion makes a tad bit of since, te book was called The Five Love Languages. Come to find out there is this thing you go through when you first decide to enter into a committed relationship with someone. This "THING" is the fact that in the beginning you don't even know the other person well enough to really BE in love with them.......but you have a IN LOVE EXPERIENCE. You are in love with the thought of being in love, and at that early stage of a relationship anything and everything you do for eachother is AWESOME, because you have this IN LOVE EXPERIENCE going on in your brain. Finally, after several months you begin notice that you don't like the way he/she cooks, you don't like to listen to the way/she eats, or walks and even talks. You start despising yourself for allowing your heart to become so terribly attached that it drives you totally crazy. BUT, even though he was drivin me nuts by nit pickin everything that I did, I was still more than willing to make it work. I promised myself that I would give the relationship as much time as it needed to work things out.
However, the weekend of Memorial Weekend, I started having seizures, at my family reunion no less. to date 08/13/2010 I have had a total of 36 seizures in less than 2 months. One day about 3 weeks after we found out what type of seizures, and the nuerologist pulled my license, my "so called" love of my life decided he didn't want to be with a woman that was sick. Anyone knows that having seizures as frequently as I was, was going to be completely wiped out. I could hardly get out of bed, after they put me on all the medication they did and just having the seizures as frequently as they were coming on. I was devastated, of course I was angry....WHO WOULDN'T BE????????? Just less than 2 weeks later, he wanted to come back home, he stated that he was just extremely stressed out and made a poor decision....SOooooo I let him come home. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!
Not even 3 weeks after moving back into the house, he decided I was not doing enough for him.....nagging like MEN say a woman does!!!!! I didn't cook enough for him, I didn't get up and constatly clean the house. HELLOOOOOO.......I WAS SICK!!!! Do men really not get the concept of that term???? I really was sick, I didn't just have a little cold that would be gone in a day or two. Needless to say......he moved out....AGAIN!!!!!!
The Dr.'s warned me that I was not allowed to drive and if I got caught driving it was an automatic felony, due to the health issues. I live in a little bitty town, there ain't crap to do around here unless you wanna go work at the local fast food joint, and then the Dr.'s tell me that I am unable to be alone at any given time I needed to have another adult with me, so I could't just go walkin up to the nearest fast food joint either, at this point I WAS SCREWED.
Now, I am a single mother of 2 children that is disabled for the time being. Everyone keeps harping at me....you gotta figure something out, you are going to have to come up with a plan. I was so devastated during this time, I was no good for anyone. My mother decided to invite us to her house for the 4th of July, and I really needed a couple of days away. Living in a little bitty town, you tend to hear about EVERY out of the way thing that your ex is talkin behind your back. So, I went to mom's, I had a gut feeling I shouldn't but, they would not allow me to stay home since I can't be alone. I go out of town and get a phone call on the day of July 4th. OF COURSE, it was him!!!!!!! Laughing at me tellin me how he came in the house and took everything that was his. I had been working with him on exchanging everything, but there were just a few things I was going to hold on to until he could pay his portion of the bills for the house. I told him, give me $400 to go towards the bills....and you can have everything back. However, he didn't wanna pay anything....he just bounced in and out of this house like nothing and the police said there was nothing we could do about it. Then come to find out a friend of my brothers, helped him come in and take all of his stuff. Of course, Jason didn't care to tell him that he was taking off with things that were not his, and that he was stealing things that I had before the relationship began. Its not like he took some big fancy tv or anything but he did take sheets and a mattress cover, and my washer hoses and my new dryer plug......things I cannot replace until I am doing much better and can go back to work. I told him, if I had the money to replace those things, I would care whatsoever.....but I am dead broke.
I was so furious for the things that he had told mutual friends and made me out to be the wicked witch of the east. I did talk to his parents a couple of times about retrieving some of my belongings and trading them and I would give them some things that he had left behind. They always showed up at the door with something meaningless that I didn't even ask for or realize was missing, but.....being that NICE CARING INDIVIDUAL THAT I AM...I gave them the belongs.
Not even two weeks later, I hear a knock of my front door. I open the door and low and behold there stands the Cleveland County Sheriff with a petition for a protective order....that slime ball went and turned me in saying I was harrassing him and that I threatened physical harm against him. ARE YOU KIDDING, WAS HE SERIOUS????? Yep, he was. I laughed histerically at first but then I read over everything and he was tryin to make me have to pay for all the court cost.....so your tellin me people can get away with stealing, not paying their bills and finding themselves in jail every few weeks and file for a frivolous protective order petition and make me pay for everything?????????? I tell you what I don't care what the heck he has of mine, I just do not ever want to see him again, such a liar and a con.
So finally for the first time in a long time this past week I have felt great.....no anxiety, no crying spells out of nowhere because I was so depressed by all of this. And it happens, yesterday I had the worst seizure I have ever had. I had a seizure that lasted almost 15 minutes, ARE YOU KIDDING???????? I don't know how much more I can take.....but I am still that nice caring person that will always show the best side of me to people.
I just wanna add that I pray every night for God to give me the strength and the knowledge and wisdom to handle any blocks in my path to an everlasting life in heaven!!!!! In this I pray each night in Jesus Name.
